Mentalhygien

Oh for the sweet love of satan.
student: can i borrow a pencil
teacher: i don't know, CAN you?
student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious
Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.
Me: *turns up music*
Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!
Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.
Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?
Me:
Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?
Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.
Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.
Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?
Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.
Lady cop: I can make that happen.
Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!
Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.
Entire train: *applauds*

deanismypatronass:

cocolooo:

deanismypatronass:

cocolooo:

i love high contrast photos of fruit floating threateningly in the night

I don’t believe such a thing exists

image

image

I was mistaken

(via wwwahundredtimesrickandmorty)

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